During the wedding I was at yesterday, the groom said:
"For the last few months, every time I've been at a wedding with my grandparents and other members of the blue-rinse brigade, I've been putting up with them coming up to me, poking me in the ribs and saying, 'That'll be you next'! However I've been getting my own back by doing the same to them at funerals!"
Fortunately, it brought the house down, particularly amongst the grandparents! I thought he was very brave saying that as it might have been a tumbleweed moment! :)
I also heard a great one last week. Best man said that he had been trying to find out where the Bride and Groom were going on their honeymoon and that just the day before he had found out by chance that they were going to wales.
Bride and Groom looked across puzzled , then best man continued saying that he had overheard groom on the telephone to a friend saying he was going to Bang-her for two weeks!:D
My groom looked across to his new inlaws and thanked them profusely for the gift of their beautiful daughter. 'I shall take delight in unwrapping it tonight'.
A few weeks ago we filmed a wedding where the Groom had 2 Best Men. These guys were a double act with great timing & drive which built up the raucous element of the speech. At the pinnacle of the speech, one of the guys stated " When the couple had their first weekend away he took her to a really luxurious hotel, they had a great time shopping, site seeing, wining & dining with all the trimmings. The Sunday morning the Groom ordered a full english breakfast stating that he needed the energy & he ordered the Bride a salad claiming he wanted to see if she also ate like a rabbit!!!"
The crowd erupted in laughter, The parenys didn't know where to look, the B&G buried their heads in their hands & I fell off the tripod!!:eek:
I thought I'd heard all the funny lines at weddings . . . and so far I have!
I thought I'd heard all the funny lines at weddings . . . and so far I have!
I like that :-)
The one on Saturday had an e-mail, that said
"I bet it only feels like 5 minutes ago you were picking each others rings...."
and a classic, " Also, can you send a picture of the Bride, perferrably mounted"
Its always a real treat to hear the same sad old groaners found on the internet or a book available from Amazon/Confetti etc. trotted out time and time again...NOT!
To be honest the BM's Speech is often the least enjoyable part of the wedding for me unless they have worked hard and come up with original ideas... something very few do. Like branny I have heard many of the above... and personally I don't enjoy the crude or extremely embarrasing ones... a well placed double-entendre can be a great laugh, but only if it's clever and original please. Lots of the 'rabbit' and 'ring' ones have been used before. :D
I've had several truly original speeches this season and they really did stand out as something special, I usually find myself mouthing the punch lines at most speeches.
I did however get caught out with the old 'ring' joke back in March but not from the speeches - the Bride (purely through nerves) came out with 'I give you my ring' instead of 'I give you this ring' - that sure broke the ice at the ceremony!!
robo
I got done for ringing Sydney in a telephone box once....
Not so much in the way of the speech itself......but while the Groom this weekend was giving his speech, the mother of the bride was on her mobile phone chatting!! She then got up, walked over to the groom still holding the mobile phone to her ear. This then followed by a stunned look by the Groom who said "What are you doing". and chants in the background saying "get of the phone...get of the phone...":D
Flame.
hmmm, that latter situ sounds like a mother-in-law issue in the making, eh? ouch.
We had a wedding 2 months ago - the groom was Indian marrying a Scottish girl.
His speech consisted of the following gem...
"When Kay went home to her parents she told them she was having and Indian, they thought she meant she was having a curry"
It brought the house down... and i had to dub out my laughter on the film in post!
It was a brilliant wedding - one of the best - and a great couple!
I heard this one myself many years ago . . . The very nervous groom thanked the bride’s mother for the ‘perky copulator’ instead of the ‘coffee percolator’. That also brought the house down.
Pete
The only time he normally ever wears a suit is when he is in court.
I take it everyone has heard the BestMan`s opener, Fornication, For an Occasions such as this.......
Best one I ever heard from a bestman...
"Well folks, I'm the last of the boys left now. James got married in June last, Mark in September and Dave today. I suppose I'll probably settle down and get married when 'L' loose interest in sex...."
and that was just the start
Brings back memories.....
A family with dubious history (think prison/jewellery) booked a very nice country hall for their daughter's wedding. The father of the bride joked that he had to "liquidate a few assets" to pay for the wedding.
The bride's family got the joke and roared laughing. The groom's family just sat there oblivious.
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Another bride's dad was a rather tough and burly welder. He was forced to wear top hat and tails for the big day. His opening line was, "I'm getting sick of this suit. I keep thinking that someone is following me".
